so after two days of trying to figure this out I realized its currently impossible to fix if you have an ISP that disables loopback, so devs if you are reading this make a way to send a LAN address to a WAN server
the title states pretty much all I know; anyone outside my private host network has no problem joining but anyone trying to connect from LAN gets an unable to connect error.
I've tried opening a new server in the data table that uses my private IP but i get a server error stating Client requested connecting with realm id 2 but this realm has id 1 set in config
It is not a firewall issue