I know this is a really old thread, but it looks like you resolved the issue I am having.
Can you explain how changing the default vs the realmlist table? The changed my realmlist table like it shows in the Heidi SQL image, with my own LAN IP, which I assumed was the realmlist table. I get the same COP_CONNECT error. If you could resolve it, that would be really appreciated I'm in on this many hours. Thanks in advance.